Monday, 1 July 2013

Be Brave.

As some of you are aware, the last few months have brought massive change to my life, in both personal and career aspects. I was unsure about posting this, but just felt as so much has changed I had to get it out of my system.
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I was due to get married.
Instead I had my flatwarming party on the day I was due to be a bride. Ironic? A little I guess. 
Making the decision to walk away from a relationship I had realised was stamping on who I was and was making me feel sad the majority of time was the most difficult thing I've ever done. It wasn't a decision I had made flippantly and it took a lot of facing up to questions I'd been trying to dismiss for a while. I came to realise I couldn't think about my family being hurt about it all, or letting people down, or even the sticky financial side to it all, it was my decision for me.
I won't bad mouth the person I was with, or blame him solely for the problems we had, sometimes these things just don't work out. You can try, you can fight, but surely a relationship shouldn't be that hard. Of course you'll have times when things aren't great but essentially there should be that deep rooted feeling that you want this person in your life and they make it and you better. Knowing I could have gone through with a monumentally huge decision and changed my life forever frightens me, but also makes me feel proud that I felt with the huge support of family and friends I could do it. And be okay.

The quote above has been one I've constantly kept in my mind. Thank you Amelia Earhart. 
There are times when I have five minutes to let my brain catch up with me, and I sit back and think 'fuck...what if' but then I look around and see what I've managed to achieve in the last few months. I'm now living on my own, I'm working harder than ever and I'm feeling much more like me.
The most important thing I've taken from this whole situation is that you should NEVER EVER ignore your head and your heart. Essentially YOU are the person to make the decisions in your life, YOU make the changes if you don't feel happy. Don't push away the niggle that's there at the back of your mind, or ignore that feeling in your stomach, listen to YOU.

3 comments:

  1. Good for you Kelly, it can't have been an easy decision but sometimes we have to go through the hurt and pain to get through to that other side. Xo

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  2. Sending lots of love your way, it sounds like a really tough decision but the best one for you

    Maria xxx

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  3. Good on you! Jon was 2 weeks away from getting married and realised he wasn't happy, it upset a lot of people at the time but it was the best thing he ever did. xxx

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